Spring is here in Queensland, and the pain of hay fever has struck me once again. I wake up sneezing, eat sneezing, shower sneezing, and sneeze sneezing. I have a box of tissues by my side at all times and a blister pack of Zirtec in my pocket. My books are mad at me, I can tell, from all the sneezing on them.
Sneezing, I think, is only the second-worst part of hay fever. The first annoying part is that build up before a sneeze. The will-I-won’t-I face you pull (acknowledged as one of the ugliest faces one can pull). Waiting for a sneeze in public is awful. People look at you and wonder why your eyes are half closed and your mouth is open with an expression that seems to imply disgust. Then sometimes the sneeze doesn’t come. You’re left feeling ridiculous, with nothing but a tingling in your nose to remember the sneeze that never came. But watch out world if that sneeze does come. I find the sneezes you have to wait for are the most powerful. The aaaaaachooooooooooooooo seems to last a lifetime, and hope to the heavens you have a tissue on you. Let’s not talk about the potential issues of projectile sneezing.
If you think you’re going to sneeze and then don’t, get ready, because that sneeze is waiting for you, for you to be as unprepared for it as possible, so it can surprise you and everyone around you.
Sneezes don’t care if you’re in the middle of a conversation, they’ll come anyway.
Can you tell I’ve thought about this a lot?
I’m going to take some Zirtec and deal with my sneezing issues.